Many parents are sincerely surprised why their words do not have an effect, even though they repeat what they learned from their own parents. However, the world is changing faster than the methods of upbringing are being updated.
Lent.az reports that some approaches have already become outdated and hinder children's development. The sooner adults realize this, the easier family communication will become. One of the most harmful approaches is the idea that "children should listen but not be heard." The parent gives instructions but does not try to understand what is behind the child's behavior.
Modern specialists emphasize that children react not to words, but to the attitude. If a child feels pressure, they even stop accepting reasonable demands. Another outdated idea is the approach "strictness builds character." In reality, excessive strictness causes anxiety and fear of making mistakes in children. Psychologists explain that a child learns through support. When scolded for every little thing, the enthusiasm to try new things diminishes.
"I know better" is also no longer effective. This sentence closes off the opportunity for dialogue and passiveizes the child. Modern children grow up in a world where independence is valued. It is important for them to feel that their opinions matter. "Talking back to adults" obstructs the formation of healthy boundaries.
Even if a child feels bad, they get used to agreeing. Such children face more difficulties in adulthood. They cannot defend their positions and fear conflicts. Another outdated approach is comparing the child with others. This damages self-confidence and creates hidden aggression. A more useful method is to compare the child with themselves. This way, they see their own progress and grow more confidently.
"Boys don't cry" or "girls should be quiet" are also no longer relevant thoughts. Such approaches limit emotional development. Specialists emphasize that children should be allowed to experience their feelings. This helps them better understand both themselves and others.
When parents abandon old schemes, family relationships become warmer and more sincere. Instead of going into defense, the child begins to trust.